jerk off

Jason moved the inner dial of his locker as he eyed the girl down the row from him. The school light was bright, broad, and never welcoming first thing in the morning. Her name was Tory and her breasts were huge. She had been the first in their elementary school to wear a bra. Every guy’s mission the week she got it was to snap it and suggest that she wanted some. It was the first collective wave of hormones that any of them felt. It was bad for her, Jason assumed, but so good for them. He was sure there had to be something she got out of it. Look at her now, he thought, still sort of working it. Her white sweater was like a bunny and he wanted to pet it.
He had jerked off at home but he might go to the bathroom and do it again. He touched briefly on the subject of how many times a day with some guys: a lot was the overall norm. She was hot. There were definitely others, a lot of others. Almost every girl had something about her he wanted to whack off to. The shyness of some, bitchiness, even homeliness was hot. He couldn’t escape it.
This was the time for it he heard. His parents had given him a talk in eighth grade that was awful. How that was helpful, he didn’t know. They didn’t seem thrilled by it either. Just one of those mandatory things that parents and kids had to do, he concluded. Jason spotted Paul.
“Hey man, you skippin’? Jason asked as they grabbed hands in a routine shake.
“You have any?” Paul asked, suddenly rapt. “My parents totally took mine and I haven’t gotten more.”
“Yeah,” Jason said.
“Well then, let’s go,” Paul responded all a glow.
They went to the woods behind the second parking lot. Jake and Kim were there. The morning was cold and they all had hoods up around their ears. The air turned white as they exhaled. Jason took out his Marlboro Reds and gave one to Paul. The others were already set. Kim was cute but a little scrappy and tough for his taste. He would do it with her if he had to, of course.
“I am so tired,” Kim said. “I have gym first period. Ugh! I am really not interested in being a sweaty hog today, and it is like totally weird to take a shower in school.”
“I’ll take your shower,” Jake said. “Get me in the girl’s locker room and I’ll spend all day there. In fact, maybe I’ll live in a locker, be the girl’s locker room mascot.”
“Maybe you could be Miss Cucina’s little bitch, Jake?” Kim added, snickering. “She’d totally like put a leather leash on you and pet you during swim practice.”
“Oh yeah. I could keep her clean by licking her, maybe catch a taste of tit here and there. Hmm...yum.” Jake added laughing. The boys laughed and Jason imagined Jake actually doing it. He would be the one guy in school to try to go through with something like that.
“Freak,” Kim said as she stubbed out her cigarette. “I gotta go work it out,” she said as she mimed an aerobic arm movement.
Jason noticed the cover the woods provided, and the strong hiss of the trees against the wind. He felt connected to something in the outdoors. He imagined for a moment living only in the woods. He heard of a tracker who lived in the woods near his house, all year long, even in the winter. He killed animals to survive and drank raindrops off the leaves of trees and shrubs. He had even pulled some crazy stunt at a power plant that had previously polluted the river in town, and the authorities were never able to find him.
It was that kind of stuff that made life exciting. Jason went out and searched for tracks in the woods a few times. He thought he found some but not with the detail or the ease he expected. The smoke felt good in his lungs. It pumped him up a little, got his mind racing. He wanted a lot out of life. He wanted to feel like he did on the back of his uncle’s motorcycle: exhilarated. His uncle smoked, and Jason had asked him for one once. Uncle Jay just looked at him like, “uh, no, dumb ass, you’re never getting one from me.”
By the time he got to math class, he was ten minutes late. It wasn’t ideal but he brushed it off. Mrs. Dillard liked him and he could get away with a little here and there. She ignored his walk past, to his desk. She handed back tests. He got an A. He didn’t listen to most of what she said. At certain moments he got interested in an equation but for the most part he looked out the window and thought about girls, the woods, getting out on the road somehow. As he was leaving at the end of class, Mrs. Dillard asked him to stay back.
“Listen mister,” she said in a serious whisper. “This is the third time you have come late to this class and you smell like smoke. I am not going to let this go unnoticed next time. Do you understand?
“Yes” he answered with a sincere nod. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” He noticed that she appreciated something about him and he registered the feeling of being charming. Mrs. Dillard had a huge ass. She wore a flowery yellow dress and as she walked her ass moved on an axis that most other asses just couldn’t. Jason was awe struck by it. He would see what he could do about not being late to stay on good terms with the woman. In a quick wave of fatigue he imagined lying down on her, every area of her body the perfect cushion for a long nap. What period was left for him to arrive late to? Goddamn classes. They took up all his time and they weren’t even all that interesting.
As he walked out of room 302 he blindly walked into Karen. She was a year older and cute as hell. His arm touched her boob. Oh fuck, he thought and maybe said.
“Sorry,” he said as he bent down to pick up a piece of paper that had flown up and out of his stuff. She walked away without saying anything but a quick “whatever.” He watched her round the corner of the hallway in the perfect jeans. The girl had an unquestionable attitude, not like regular girls. What was it? He headed to the bathroom. He could still feel her breast on his arm, the exact quality of her sweater even through the canvas of his coat. He brushed a dark blonde mass of bangs out of his eyes and moved.
He hustled through thick crowds of people pushing to their next class and up to the bathroom on the fourth floor. It was usually quiet up there. He punched the door open to find Larry Johnson at the mirror. He was a huge boy who Jason could tell was on fourth floor for the privacy. He hoped that Larry would get the fuck out of there before he started. He couldn’t do it with him there. He heard him leave, the door close. The hush of the bathroom in the busy school in and of itself was titillating. He saw her profile as she rounded the corner. He had a photographic memory for every inch of a girl. He even saw her look at him as she rounded the corner─an invitation in her eye. Whoa! There was a spark that set off a feeling he had never had before. It was like a sharp hot that made him come earlier and harder than he ever had.
Oh Jesus. The bathroom stall was plain like an army hospital. He felt older for a second like he lived by himself or he was from another country. He cleaned up, pulled his pants on, washed his hands, and looked in the mirror. He looked littler than he remembered being, his black hoody and canvas coat hung on him like he’d shrunk. He didn’t have acne, he wasn’t fat or skinny. He could tell that some girls liked him. There was power and desire building into a small city of sexual commerce inside of him. Maybe this year he would do it for real. Maybe even have a girlfriend.
As he moved out of the bathroom he spotted Larry against the wall, down the hall, waiting. He mustn’t have finished. Poor guy. Jason stomped down four floors to his English class with Mr. Pomfrey. The guy was definitely gay. But it was cool. No one held that against him. He was enthusiastic; a pretty good teacher. Jason sat next to Paul. They slapped hands and slid into their desks. The class was reading Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad.
Jason had appreciated parts of it. It was about distortion of freedom and passion, he heard himself think.
“So, who wants to start with telling me what this story is about?” asked Mr. Pomfrey. He leaned casually against his desk, clearly interested. Jean, one of a few who answered often, especially in English class, raised her hand. Mr. Pomfrey paused and scanned for a new hand. Jason raised his hand on a distant whim.
“Yes, Jason. What did you think of it?” Mr. Pomfrey asked.
Jason felt odd and hot like his throat and mouth had become small. He could feel Paul smiling mockingly at him but he spoke because at that point he had to.
“I think it was about a man who had left society,” he squeaked at first. He cleared his throat and continued. “He did some awful things, but he touched things that the ones coming after him didn’t understand at all. He was kind of like a terrorist.” Jason spoke the last part in swift conclusion.
“Good. Yeah. Interesting,” Mr. Pomfrey said. He looked at him a little gleam to his eyes as he walked away from his desk and into a fuller discussion of the book. It had worked, Jason thought. What he said may have made sense. Paul looked at Jason and scrunched up his face and bobbled his head like “oh, look who’s so smart.” Jean gave him a questioning look of disapproval. He smirked with satisfaction at having said something appropriate at the right time in English class.
“Anyone else?’ Mr. Pomfrey asked? “Yes, Jean.”
“Yes. I think the story is about terrorism because Kurtz is abandoned by his people. His actions are unconsciously a result of questioning the purpose of war that he himself once employed. He turns to the voice of the wilderness for his answers and as a result he exhibits a mix of his own power and horror”
“Good.” Pomfrey says.
Jason tuned out the conversation about the book and got a flash of how smart Jean was. She is smart, and tight, he thought as he played out a scenario of seeing her as a sexy woman, in like Vegas or something. Maybe she’s in a woman’s business suit at the bar, secretly desperate to let it all hang out, and he is at a conference, a bra salesmen. He sits next to her and asks her if she wants a drink. Hours later they are in a hotel room and she is finally, worked up, hot, and wanting sex.
He looked over at her in the classroom, up front along the row of small desks. Who was he kidding, she’d never be seen in Vegas. Would he even go there, he wondered. His desk felt tight up against his body, his legs constrained. The veneer of its wooden top made him think of a high chair and baby food. Maybe on a motorcycle. Yeah, he could see himself riding in on a motorcycle, the dark city would welcome him with its lights aglow. He squinted and was back in the classroom. Mr. Pomfrey concluded class with a last, teacherly comment.
“It is your job to pick up the nuance of a story, guys. Start by feeling the concepts of the stories before the details. You are not going to like every book and that’s fine. The entirety of a book may not speak to you, but in some way it will, even if it’s in a sentence or an image.”
The bell rang, and he shouted over the friction of bags, notebook sand voices,
“It is your job to find that one little thing you like and make it bigger. If you haven’t finished the book, do. We start Romeo and Juliet on Wednesday.”
Jason had gym next. He thought of the girl’s locker room and imagined being there to see all the girls in various stages of undress. He thought of seeing Karen in there. Maybe he’d talk to her sometime? He had kissed four girls in his whole life including Jenny when he was three, and over the summer he almost felt a breast. Maybe Karen would be his next level? How could he meet her formerly, he wondered? He wasn’t comfortable talking to girls. Running into a girl was one thing. Initiating conversation was a whole other world. He’d have to play it cool, of course. She could be way out of his league. He couldn’t tell.
“Hey dude, you want to go outside before your next class?” Jake asked him as he mimed smoking.
“Sure,” Jason answered.
They went to the neighborhood across the street from school out the south entrance. He might miss a little of gym, but fuck it. They rolled on their skateboards and lit cigarettes mid-ride. Their jeans hung low and their legs dropped heavy into their boards. This was what they envisioned themselves being. They stopped up in the little park at the top of the street, went past the bench and into the wood there.
“You know that girl Karen? She’s a junior.” Jason asked.
“She hangs out with Dalia and that whole crew?” asked Jake.
“Yeah,” Jason answered.
“Yeah, I know her. In fact, I did her once this summer.” Jake retorted.
“What? No you didn’t, you liar. You did not?
“Yes I did, lil’ bitch.” Jake punctuated with a mock slap of Jason’s face.
“You have not done anyone and I know that for a fact.”
“You do not know that,” Jake continued with his fake attitude. “Alright, so I didn’t do her,” Jake said, his words long like silly putty and his eyes squinted, “but I might sometime soon, any day now.”
“Don’t do her, okay?” Jason said. “I am kind of interested and, in fact, I am staking my claim right now.” Jason said as he stood up from a squat.
“Whoa. Make a move today buddy. Let’s just say if you don’t make a move today, I will,” Jake answered, cigarette in his mouth and his hand reached out to seal the deal.
“You asshole. Today? I’m not ready to do it today.” Jake said as he got up and moved back toward the street.
“Today man, or I am going for her. I’m not kidding,” Jake’s head cocked to the side, “Let’s just say you’ve inspired me.”
“You shit. I got to go to gym now and because of you, you little prick, I have to figure a way to talk to this girl without sounding like a fuckin’ idiot. Thanks. Enjoy the rest of your smoke. No really, don’t get up” Jason said as he dropped his cigarette into a drain at the corner
“No problem buddy. I am on your side, just encouraging you to evolve, get out there, meet people,” Jake called from the woods.
Jason skated all the way to the front entrance of the school, put his board under his arm and ran to Gym. He was fifteen minutes late. He put on shorts and a t-shirt and met the rest of the class on the bench next to the basketball court.
“You’re in Shwartz,” Mr. Pallamo barked, “Center.”
“What? I’m not a center.” Jason responded.
“You’re late─you’re in. Anthony you’re out,” Pallamo confirmed as he motioned to Tony Morano, the center for the Varsity team. He jogged off and shot Jason a pitying glare.
Jason threw on a pinny and ran to play a sport that had always scared him. He felt naked in gym shorts as he ran uncomfortably around the court to get open. Mr. Pallamo yelled things at him and his body burned. Sneakers against the yellow wood made ridiculous sounds. Jill Pont was playing a forward position and kept trying to get him to play correctly. She threw him the ball and he dribbled it. He felt like he’d been drugged. Mr. Pallamo blew the whistle and he was called for both traveling and double dribbling.
Tyke Rogers, one of the tallest guys in school, was the other team’s center. He got the ball and made a fast break before either team knew what happened. Jason’s teammates were a mix of uninterested and annoyed kids who, with their body language, seemed to blame him for their discomfort. The game lasted an unreasonably long time. It was not where pleasured lived. This is hell─ where dreams are devastated, where life is pummeled. Gym ended and Mr. Pallamo took him aside, his stout frame and hairy legs exposed throughout the year.
“Okay mister. You want to screw up your life by smoking and skipping class or coming late, that’s your problem but when it is on my time, no way!” His sweaty forehead made him look presidential and oddly knowing.
Jason took a short, strong breath. It wasn’t a big deal to miss class, he thought. Goddamn teachers make it all so important and it’s fucking not. He couldn’t talk to Mr. Pallamo about it. He couldn’t or wouldn’t burden this guy with one more thing. It might make his head explode. Maybe he should push it and ask him about sex, right up front like. Buddy up to him; ask his advice on how to court a woman. Oh shit, Mr. Pallamo probably had a wife. Why wasn’t he sneaking off to have sex with her instead of wasting his time trying to get him in line? Was he going to get in real trouble for being late or could he continue to get away with things by not caring in the way the others did? It’s not like the kids who followed rules were any happier.
“It won’t happen again,” Jason said with his head down and his hair dangling in his face, his white body exposed more than seemed right. He felt younger than he was, or like he had overslept for a week or more.
“Your damn right it won’t or else there’ll be consequences.” Mr. Pallamo pushed.
Oh, c’mon, he thought. School sucked the desire, the interest, the inspiration out of him. He felt like he was folded inside one of his desks, unable to move. In the light of the matte gray of the lockers he changed back into his clothes, the surface of his skin still moist from the game. Greg Tolle elbowed him and said, “nice game” in a mocking tone as if it was his one chance to feel more powerful than he ever had. Greg was a dork, but with his friend Bob by his side, who appeared uncomfortable being in on anything, Greg was at the top of his game.
“Shut up, man” Jason said back to Greg.
“No, you shut up, burner. At least I come to class on time,” Greg said as his curly hair wobbled with conviction. Bob lingered at the end of the row of lockers and watched his shoes.
It was time for lunch, and Jason moved slowly like an animal at the zoo. Was it even worth seeking this Karen girl out? Maybe she wasn’t even all that hot in the first place? His mind moved like cement and it felt like all he could do was complain about some ethereal lack of freedom. He ambled to the wide steps that led up to the library adjacent to the descending steps of the cafeteria. At the sight of the steps he lit up. It was rumored that two juniors, Joan and John actually had sex in the cafeteria during second period the week before. Joan was hot too, Jewish hot. Every time he really thought of it, he could barely believe that the miracle of sex existed. He would have to pursue Karen or else Jake would, simply for its prank value.
Down in the cafeteria, Jason found Paul and Big Don and the three of them got their usual odd mix of a meal: cookies and orange juice. They went outside. The sky was clear. They sat on the curved stone bench that enclosed the outside eating area. Groups of kids sat at tables and for a moment Jason thought of the place as an outside café in Switzerland he went to last February with his parents. The playing fields were close by and the green of the soccer field was wet with a sogginess that had earlier been frosty. The sun was warm for November. Jason scanned anxiously for Karen. She was a junior. She could have the rest of the day off for all he knew.
“What are you guys doing this week-end,” Big Don asked.
“I’m going to this all-day fucking seminar called Open Heart thing that my dad is making me do,” Paul said. “He found my cigarettes and now he feels like we have to heal, make a connection, something. I really don’t know,” he said as his eyes reared open in exasperation. “It is ridiculous. Speaking of cigarettes, can I have one Jason?” he asked. He slumped forward a little as though someone might have heard.
“Whoa. That’s really crazy. I hope you don’t get brainwashed,” Big Don said. A strong, cool wind came through the eating area as the first of a line of clouds came in to cover the sun. Napkins flew off a table and a few groups put their collars up. Others went inside.
Unchanged by the shift, in just his extra large T shirt, Big Don said, “We are having my parent’s 25th wedding anniversary this week-end and I have like fifty cousins, aunts and uncles that are coming and their all staying in our house. I am sharing a bed with my brother and it is not going to be pretty. It is going to be insane.” He shook his thick head side to side in consternation.
As they walked toward the second parking lot they spotted Mr. Pratt, their intro to biology teacher. He was standing near the entrance into the woods, oafish, and menacing.
“Fuck. What do we do? We can’t get in there with him standing right there,” Paul complained.
“We are going to have to off him,” Jason played. “Today, Mr. Pratt goes down” as he galloped side-to-side behind an oak tree and pretended to take aim.
“Dude, this is serious. If I don’t get that smoke in I am gonna kill someone. I need the tension release.”
“Paul, I think you might need to get laid; you seem really stressed,” Don laughed and put his hands to Paul’s shoulders. He pretended to give him a massage and smirked along with Jason.
“Get the fuck off me, dude. Shit!” He jerked Big Don’s hands off his shoulders. “Seriously, what are we going to do? That guy is just waiting to bust us.” Paul said.
“I have less than fifteen minutes. Let’s go up the stadium steps. We’ll jump the fence and get to the south entrance neighborhood.” Jason decided.
The three boys lumbered up the stadium steps as though gravity was something very foreign. Once at the top they scouted for the easiest exit. They decided upon a part of the fence that was warped; awkward but lower. Jason went first. He put on his gloves, stuck his wide toed boots in the small diamond holes of the fence, and hurled himself cleanly, up and over.
“Well, that was fun. It’s easy. You can do it,” Jason offered, surprised by his lightness.
Big Don went next. His big body made the fence dip even lower and as he made his way over, the pocket of his pants caught the wire and ripped.
“Shit. Not too bad though, considering what could have happened,” Big Don said as he landed with a thud and examined the damage. “Its all you, Paul. Don’t fuck it up.”
Paul scrambled up. He struggled the most out of the three as he changed his feet and hands up and tried to get the best hold.
“Shit, I’m scared.”
“C’mon Paul. We don’t have all day, buddy,” Jason said as he looked up and down the street they had come upon.
“They’re…they’re…they’re coming,” Jason suddenly stammered. His throat started to close as he thought about what he saw.
“They’re coming!” He said more surely and with the direct intention of getting Paul to hustle over the fence as he spotted girls back from lunch, heading up the street toward school. Paul didn’t know what Jason meant, and in a panic he somersaulted over the fence and got hooked by his sweatshirt. He landed on the ground but was unable to move from his spot. He was in shock. Jason could see as they came closer that the girl with the perfect jeans, Karen, was on of the girls. Oh my God, Jason thought as Paul jerked manically and tried to get free from the fence.
“Calm down,” said Big Don. “You need to get a hold of yourself.” He ripped Paul’s sweatshirt from the fence and took the hood completely off and into his hand. Big Don laughed heartily and in a high pitch for such a big guy. Jason was pale and unequipped to make his move. What would he say to her as she passed?
“Let’s go, Jesus, you guys, that was fucking traumatic. I am never climbing one of those things with that many jagged points again. I could’ve been punctured, and who is this they people? I thought there were zombies coming or something,” Paul rambled as he oriented back to the moment, the group of girls closer.
“Give me that,” Paul said to Big Don as he grabbed the detached hood. “Don’t you think that was a tad hasty?”
“Whatever. You were freaking out. It was the best I could do.”
“Shut up you guys. I need to ask this girl coming toward us out or Jake is going to, and I think I am going to do her soon,” Jason said. He squeezed the words out between his tight lips.
“Do her? What?” Big Don said.
“Shut the fuck up right now, dude,” as the girls came even closer, “Yes, do her,” Jason hissed.
“Afternoon ladies,” Big Don said easily.
“Afternoon boys,” Karen melodically chanted. “Have a successful venture over the fence? Just don’t get caught,” she said as she eyed Jason, seemingly aware of their earlier interaction.
It was three on three and Jason didn’t know how to act, what to offer or what to say. The boys stood like they should be whistling and averting their eyes as the group of three girls passed, but instead they stared dumbly and Karen looked back and stopped and said, “What?”
“What?” Jason said back as an odd echo to her what.
“You were staring at me like you were retarded and I am wondering what you want.” She said
Big Don and Paul looked at each other with wide eyes nearly ready to pop into naughty laughter.
“Uh...I...um...you want to go out sometime, maybe this week-end? Saturday?” Jason blurted. That was it, he thought. The two other girls had the vibe of “oh my god, let’s go” and the space of the street became short and long simultaneously. He felt hot again with the attention focused on him. Had he really asked her out? Why didn’t she speak?
She looked him up and down, her hips perfectly rounded in her pants. They had a future, he could tell. Her eyes went from disapproving to a look of resignation. She kind of wanted him, he thought. Like he was weird and that was interesting. Their connection was taking longer to establish than anyone seemed comfortable with.
“Hey, ahh...Jason, you want to go and have that...ahh...you know?” stammered Paul as he jerked his head to the side. He clearly wanted to have the smoke he had journeyed so far for.
“Give it a second,” Big Don whispered.
Like he was just out of a trance, Jason said, “Yeah. Okay Paul, let’s go have that smoke. Karen, I’m going to give you my number if you want to go out this week-end or some other time. Just give me a call.” He handed her the piece of paper he had just written on and again felt the possibility of their connection.
She grabbed the paper, her friends already headed back up toward the school. Jason was doing his best to contain the energy of the interchange without blowing it, and he was right on that edge.
“I’ll think about it,” she said as she headed off up the street, her head still turned toward him, waiting for a move that would give her a definite reason to say yes or no. And then she turned fully as she swaggered like she owned the street, the school, maybe even the town.
Once she was up over the first lip of the long street, Big Don shoved Jason hard and said, “yeah, you motherfuckin’ daddy. She sure as hell was thinking about it.”
“Fuck. Jesus. I don’t even know what happened there,” Jason said as they started moving.
“She is like a whole other category of girl. I gave her my number, right? That happened.”
“Alright, give me a smoke, now!” Paul said. “I’m just gonna smoke on the street. I can’t wait. That almost put me completely over the edge.”
Jason handed him the whole pack. He had just burned through the center of the sun. He might never be the same. His physiology had changed. It was possible that his dick was bigger, his chest hair more ready to grow. He had become an inch more a man than he had been that morning, even five minutes prior. Life was magic and under his control. He opened the top couple buttons of his canvas coat.
“You have a light?” Paul asked manically.
Jason handed over his lighter. The boys jogged to keep up with Jason’s newly confident pace. As they topped the first slope of the street, Paul lit his cigarette and they could see Mr. Asbury, the school’s infamous chemistry teacher as he rounded the first bend.
“Put it out Paul,” Big Don commanded.
“Oh shit, I just got it lit, man.” He bellyached. Paul dragged on it a quick two times and threw it through one of the holes of the cagey fence.
“Mr. Asbury, how’s it hanging?” Jason initiated with a revived demeanor as the teacher approached
“Boys,” his head nodded formally. “Heading to class? You don’t want to be late, do you?” Mr. Asbury asked. He looked at his watch. His glasses stretched widely around each eye, and his slim fitting gray suit, unflinchingly conservative, made him seem even odder than expected. Mr. Asbury rushed past them as though suddenly he was not a teacher but am international man of mystery. He even trotted away a little further down and then crossed the street nearly out of view
“Maybe he’s got a hot date?” Paul said.
They watched him run up the hill perpendicular to School Street and then a distant light flash as he hunched over like he had just lit a cigarette.
“Whoa! We don’t have to worry about getting caught smoking by Mr. Asbury now do we?” Big Don said, squinting as to confirm the event as fact.
They would all probably have him for chemistry next year. That was the class Jason could anticipate cutting into with extracurricular activities of whatever level of sex, drugs and rock and roll he was up to at the moment. Freedom was undeniable from his new vantage point. Everything he wanted was at least a possibility and whether Karen called him or not, that wasn’t the point. He had balls enough to ask, and he was going to ride the wave.
The boys skipped an extended smoke to get to class approximately on time. Paul admitted to feeling better after his few, quick drags. The three of them walked in equal stride. Spanish class was next, and Jason thought of his hot Spanish teacher, Ms. Margoles in her knee length skirts with a slit up the back. She hadn’t a clue what it did to them. Talk about hot for teacher. Jason would spend class imagining a scene. Mexican Riviera, Karen in a bikini on the beach where the waves roll in. He would watch her every little move. He would think about being lucky, and she would turn around and give him that look, that look that gave boys something to reach for.