viastylefiles


The next day, mom and I went on a walk down crane neck rd and then onto the beach. I saw a soccer ball. a good one. In perfect shape with stars all over it. Adidas. We kicked it ahead of us, alternating as we walked on the stones. There was a movement of a mass of starlings. When we got close to them sitting in a tree above our heads they giggled and tweeted so loudly i felt like I was in India when I was, years ago with Eden in the hotel across from the temple where the birds sat in trees squawking. There is a house being built, perhaps nearly finished on the Connecticut side of the peninsula of Crane neck. It is a massive and beautiful house. For a couple in their sixties. I imagined that mom and dad would be friends with them. I like the idea of them finding good, loving friends that are new. Friends that just appear, seemingly out of nowhere but who really arrive in response to a call made that is deliciously allowed. We walked back and past the path, down to the water so I could feel it. I wanted to get in the water but even though it is warm for January it is not warm. I kicked the soccer ball some more and then stopped and left it. I ran into a feeling that was fifteen or so years old. It was me in Long island having thoughts of freedom and I newly realized or remembered that it is all there is. my life is about these foot to ground moments when the moment itself, the architecture, the sturdy physicality of it, the perfect ring of life itself against this moment and the things that are happening within its giant container are revealed.It felt good to run into that thought. We went to flax pond. The interior of this waterway on Crane Neck and mom sat on a stump and I squatted and did some yoga positions. The moment kept expanding. we could see the house from almost all the places we walked. It was funny how big it was. Showy. The birds too. Flying, expanding and contracting as a unit, in flight. I had a strong thought about a given area of land being something owned communally by people who cared about that beautiful line that holds both human and nature. Not a nuisance to the neighbors but something people are excited to create and explore. A ridiculous dream. No. But something still coming into being. I saw that beautiful home,next to another one,Just as large as the other and thought. "what if there were these people who were friends and conscious and interested and okay with life happening on a continuum". I enjoyed the thought, the unfolding of it. I thought of that being why people move to Vermont and live in rural communities and also why Susie and Les decided to live on a commune. For the stillness and the there-ness of it. we walked home and talked briefly about what was in store for the next ten years. I realize I want to write more easily. More simply.