mindscape

lawn beauty

emotional turns

I live in a magnificent location. I can look up and see the beauty of Lake Champlain, of a sloping, green lawn, of tall pine trees on the edge of the water. To register that beauty as my own I only have to actually look at it and experience the feeling of that beauty. The beauty that I feel is me. it is so simple. there is nothing complicated about having what I want. In this case, beauty. I simply feel the reality of that thing I am looking at. I let it soak into me, take me over, swallow me.

thinking bout

vialucycash
I am thinking about my writing experiences and processes. All the places i have to write. My two computers, the various notebooks. As I think of fine tuning the characters in my stories or the movement of the narratives I wonder...and I am not even sure what it is I am wondering. How to do it? How to love the story? I am thinking about how it is that the writing experience can be as beautiful as it naturally is. So, I am here, exploring easily. I feel that writing ease right now as I consider the character of me.

friendly delight, finding mine, giving over. here it is.  I really think you are an amazing person. do you know what I mean?

a day later now. The next, later morning. 10am. Went outside almost right away when I awoke,  It is warm today. just a little breeze and so very appealing. I walked and then raked more from the lily beds. As I came in with the idea to drink more coffee and work here i had the feeling that i am involved in things, in the middle of something and that is a very good feeling indeed. Near the water, raking, I also remembered that specific desire to go beyond just getting a job done. The yard work with any semblance of a desire to create something is honestly, endless. The yard is huge! I must enjoy the moment of doing it.Otherwise it is shit.

I can know

I was just thinking about how I can know what I want to do next. I can kind of sniff inside myself, metaphysically speaking, and know the scented trail of what is that I am wanting. Just a week ago I didn't recognize this in myself. I am thrilled with the newly awakened awareness that I can ask for guidance. I can say, "Hey you inside. What is next?" That is how this very post occurred. It is like all of my insides soften up, and I feel the rising of the question and next, the answer. It is very relaxing. Thank you self. You are sweet to be here so close to me. I am kind of shyly asking, where is the money? Then stating, you show me where to turn and where to go. It is nice, it is soft but I feel how I have not done this before. Let myself ask and expect in such a way. I can get really good at this.